Question: My 9 year old son has been complaining that his calves hurt when he wakes up in the morning, and it sometimes keeps him from going to school. The doctor says there is nothing wrong with him. What should I do?

Answer: This sounds like it might be more of a case of learned phantom pain than any real physical syndrome. There are several areas to consider here: First, there’s the idea of “growing pains.” Most of us have heard of these pains, said to the be the result of growing bones and muscles in children. However certain folk-science is that we suffer from growing pains, the medical literature is far from convinced that there is any such malady. And in any event, there is no treatment. Many parents use the term “growing pains” as a way to explain to their children why they might be feeling some discomfort. However, in the case of you son, it could be that he has learned that sore legs get him a day off from school. This is especially likely given that your physician has confirmed that no physical maladies are causing his pain. Ask yourself how much he suffers throughout the day when he takes a day off from school. Does the pain go away by mid-morning? If so, that’s a sign that it might be more in his head than in his body. While it is difficult to argue with a child who is “in pain,” it might be best for you to send your child to school on those days when he complains, no matter how much this goes against your maternal instincts. This is because your child might possibly be learning to “feel” pain in order to get a reward, in this case a day off from school. Try sending him to school anyway, and see how long the pain lasts. And don’t forget to check in with him about how things are really going at school. It’s very possible that something at school is upsetting him, which prompts him to find a painful excuse to stay home. Fix that problem, whether it’s a bully or a bad teacher, and his pain might just disappear.

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