Question:

Went back to work on Tues, only part time. Of course, I was supposed to do half days but stayed longer. Just felt there were things I needed to do before I left. How was it? Oh God, in some ways good. I got out of the house. I felt productive. But on the other way, exhausting. I had such aches in between my shoulder blades, and was just achy all over. I attribute the shoulder pain to tension. I was on my guard a lot. I tried not to go in and take over my old job to fast. I didn’t want the person filling in to think I didn’t think he did a good job while I was gone. Even though he and I didn’t really get along before I left, I still wanted to show my respect to him for what he had done. It wasn’t to bad, but we still had our disagreements about the way I did some things compared to him. Basically, I just kind of halted myself before it got a little nasty. I found that some people are not worth arguing with. He is a little stubborn, and no amount of what I say on some matters will change his mind. So that stopped us from getting off to a nasty start. I found that worked better for my mental state. Am off today, which I am going to enjoy. I go back full time next week. I really feel that I did get my mental state in a better place than before I went out. Other than that all seems to be going okay. I am getting my house organized, since I was to tired to do much in the evenings. I am headed out to do a few things later on, and then am going to rest.

Response:

Hi. I envy you in a way.  I am on the opposite end of this thing, i.e. if I keep going like this I am going to lose my job. I forget things, I don’t plan ahead, I’m always in reactive mode while I should be proactive, and I always get the impression that I have to apologize for every single mistake.  I just re-read an e-mail I sent to someone and gosh, do I look like I am trying to cover my butt!  And in a way, I am.  I’m so afraid of losing my job. At the same time, while my doctor wants to get me out of there, I can’t.  I have no insurance to cover my back for now.  They will only be effective in December.  So what am I to do?  Just hang in there. But it’s good to read of someone who can go back to work.  Right now I’m just trying to keep my job. Sorry about my whining.  Just wanted to congratulate you and I turned it into a "poor little me thing". Isabelle "Why do your problems always seem more important than everyone else’s?" "Because they’re mine!"   – Ally McBeal

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Went back to work on Tues, only part time. Of course, I was supposed to do half days but stayed longer. Just felt there were things I needed to do before I left. How was it? Oh God, in some ways good. I got out of the house. I felt productive. But on the other way, exhausting. I had such aches in between my shoulder blades, and was just achy all over. I attribute the shoulder pain to tension. I was on my guard a lot. I tried not to go in and take over my old job to fast. I didn’t want the person filling in to think I didn’t think he did a good job while I was gone. Even though he and I didn’t really get along before I left, I still wanted to show my respect to him for what he had done. It wasn’t to bad, but we still had our disagreements about the way I did some things compared to him. Basically, I just kind of halted myself before it got a little nasty. I found that some people are not worth arguing with. He is a little stubborn, and no amount of what I say on some matters will change his mind. So that stopped us from getting off to a nasty start. I found that worked better for my mental state. Am off today, which I am going to enjoy. I go back full time next week. I really feel that I did get my mental state in a better place than before I went out. Other than that all seems to be going okay. I am getting my house organized, since I was to tired to do much in the evenings. I am headed out to do a few things later on, and then am going to rest.

Response:

Thanks, but I really am not to be envied. I went thru some really hard times when I was learning my job, and even still. Sounds as if you don’t have confidence in yourself and that you really don’t like your job. I strungle daily with so many issues about my job and performance that at least weekly I think of getting another job. Are you able to quit, or look for something else? We tend to spend more time with the people we work with, if its not a happy envirioment it will suck the life right out of you. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi. I envy you in a way.  I am on the opposite end of this thing, i.e. if I keep going like this I am going to lose my job. I forget things, I don’t plan ahead, I’m always in reactive mode while I should be proactive, and I always get the impression that I have to apologize for every single mistake.  I just re-read an e-mail I sent to someone and gosh, do I look like I am trying to cover my butt!  And in a way, I am.  I’m so afraid of losing my job. At the same time, while my doctor wants to get me out of there, I can’t.  I have no insurance to cover my back for now.  They will only be effective in December.  So what am I to do?  Just hang in there. But it’s good to read of someone who can go back to work.  Right now I’m just trying to keep my job. Sorry about my whining.  Just wanted to congratulate you and I turned it into a "poor little me thing". Isabelle "Why do your problems always seem more important than everyone else’s?" "Because they’re mine!"   – Ally McBeal Went back to work on Tues, only part time. Of course, I was supposed to do half days but stayed longer. Just felt there were things I needed to do before I left. How was it? Oh God, in some ways good. I got out of the house. I felt productive. But on the other way, exhausting. I had such aches in between my shoulder blades, and was just achy all over. I attribute the shoulder pain to tension. I was on my guard a lot. I tried not to go in and take over my old job to fast. I didn’t want the person filling in to think I didn’t think he did a good job while I was gone. Even though he and I didn’t really get along before I left, I still wanted to show my respect to him for what he had done. It wasn’t to bad, but we still had our disagreements about the way I did some things compared to him. Basically, I just kind of halted myself before it got a little nasty. I found that some people are not worth arguing with. He is a little stubborn, and no amount of what I say on some matters will change his mind. So that stopped us from getting off to a nasty start. I found that worked better for my mental state. Am off today, which I am going to enjoy. I go back full time next week. I really feel that I did get my mental state in a better place than before I went out. Other than that all seems to be going okay. I am getting my house organized, since I was to tired to do much in the evenings. I am headed out to do a few things later on, and then am going to rest.

Response:

You’re right, I really hate my job.  And the confidence I used to have, but for the past few weeks it’s as if it’s gone down the drain.  Every little mistake I make I feel is the end of the world, and in reality, nobody notices but me… I am just hanging on.  I have decided that my job will only be temporary, I want to go back to school, and make do with my dream: becomine a professor in history.  Financially, I can’t affort to quit right now.  And I can’t switch job right now; I just don’t have the energy.  Sorry, I just can’t finish my thought here.  I was about to say something about knowing what I want to do in my future, but lacking the energy to start now (ha! and the money, too!). That’s what I envy you: you seem to have some energy, you can feel productive. I’m still trying to just get up and take a shower.  And decide if I should tell my father I’m on medication.  And feed the cats.  And all of these things seem like mountains to me. Well, I guess that’s what a depression is all about.

Thanks, but I really am not to be envied. I went thru some really hard times when I was learning my job, and even still. Sounds as if you don’t have confidence in yourself and that you really don’t like your job. I strungle daily with so many issues about my job and performance that at least weekly I think of getting another job. Are you able to quit, or look for something else? We tend to spend more time with the people we work with, if its not a happy envirioment it will suck the life right out of you.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi. I envy you in a way.  I am on the opposite end of this thing, i.e. if I keep going like this I am going to lose my job. I forget things, I don’t plan ahead, I’m always in reactive mode while I should be proactive, and I always get the impression that I have to apologize for every single mistake.  I just re-read an e-mail I sent to someone and gosh, do I look like I am trying to cover my butt!  And in a way, I am.  I’m so afraid of losing my job. At the same time, while my doctor wants to get me out of there, I can’t. I have no insurance to cover my back for now.  They will only be effective in December.  So what am I to do?  Just hang in there. But it’s good to read of someone who can go back to work.  Right now I’m just trying to keep my job. Sorry about my whining.  Just wanted to congratulate you and I turned it into a "poor little me thing". Isabelle "Why do your problems always seem more important than everyone else’s?" "Because they’re mine!"   – Ally McBeal Went back to work on Tues, only part time. Of course, I was supposed to do half days but stayed longer. Just felt there were things I needed to do before I left. How was it? Oh God, in some ways good. I got out of the house. I felt productive. But on the other way, exhausting. I had such aches in between my shoulder blades, and was just achy all over. I attribute the shoulder pain to tension. I was on my guard a lot. I tried not to go in and take over my old job to fast. I didn’t want the person filling in to think I didn’t think he did a good job while I was gone. Even though he and I didn’t really get along before I left, I still wanted to show my respect to him for what he had done. It wasn’t to bad, but we still had our disagreements about the way I did some things compared to him. Basically, I just kind of halted myself before it got a little nasty. I found that some people are not worth arguing with. He is a little stubborn, and no amount of what I say on some matters will change his mind. So that stopped us from getting off to a nasty start. I found that worked better for my mental state. Am off today, which I am going to enjoy. I go back full time next week. I really feel that I did get my mental state in a better place than before I went out. Other than that all seems to be going okay. I am getting my house organized, since I was to tired to do much in the evenings. I am headed out to do a few things later on, and then am going to rest.

Response:

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